Everything Sucks!
The grass is always greener on the other side.
But is it really?
What’s stopping you of crossing to the other side then? Why not build your own garden? Does it even matter under certain conditions?
As the title hints, I’d like to use this post to portray that, generally, life is, whether we’re admitting or not, suffering. Not always and not for everyone, but generally. In this post I want to explore what a big part of it can be attributed on without being abstract. Let’s start by following stories of the daily routine of two hard working individuals, both having aced the lowest level of the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
In The West
The alarm clock woke me up. It was a restless sleep anyway, as I kept stressing about the deadline we most probably won’t reach this week. I might end up working this Saturday but that depends on the outcome of the long morning meeting today… Unless it’s postponed again… Have to check today’s priorities as soon as I get to the office…
But there’s no time to think!
I jump out of bed and mindlessly rush to get myself ready for the working day. Can’t even remember if I prepared everything I need… This process is almost on auto-pilot, so I’ll just trust my instincts.
The metro station is full of people who look and behave the same, all rushing in their own worlds. Bumping into each other and ignoring each others’ existence. And it’s bizarre… You can hear a sound resembling galloping hooves, but no human voice whatsoever.
I feel alone in the crowd.
Once the metro arrives, the seemingly civilized crowd starts getting aggressive and blocking each others’ way so they’re the first to get to the seats. This is the only time they have an option to express their emotions and exercise non-professional competitiveness. And everyone makes the most of it. There’s still scarcity of space… So those of us who won’t make it end up rubbing shoulders and being squeezed like sardines with each other.
In the rare cases where I turn on my mind, I look around at the other people.
And all I see sad eyes… It reads: “what have I done with my life?”.
The rest of the day is mostly work – meetings, arguments, lies… I really don’t like my job, nor I enjoy working. Sometimes I wonder why am I doing this but it seems like I got tamed after years of programming… No wonders there – I started working since I was 18 years old and everything I wished for back then now is laughable and unrealistic.
Anyway, I got stability. I can afford food & shelter and I go on regular vacations each year. It’s all good until I ask myself if it’s worth it, so I try to ignore my thoughts most of the time. Lots of things to keep me busy throughout the day so it works itself out at the end.
Attending the meeting that was pushed to after official working hours and arrive home slightly after 7 o’clock.
Sometimes I go out for a walk, just to clear my head in hopes to feel alive.
But it’s also dehumanizing…
It’s like living in this post-apocalyptic artificial environment, without a single human being around. Only streets… Empty streets… And everything is quiet and boring. And in the rare cases when I meet people, we’re all cold and disinterested in each other. Like we’re fighting our own battles and going our own path… But without a clear direction ahead.
My mind is still exhausted from the working day and long commute but all I can do is ignore the fact, as if I don’t get at least 6 hours of rest, tomorrow will be even worse. So I put something on TV and turn what’s left of my mind off, so I can earn more money to finance the lifestyle I guess I chose.
Wonder why my heart keeps bumping at this rate…
In The East
I woke up from my dream… I wish it lasted longer. Anything to keep my mind off the monotony that awaits…
I slowly prepare for the day until I take a shower to get me up to speed. And it’s not a coincidence… There is no hot water in the mornings.
I walk to the bus station and see the same people selling the same stuff, offering illegal taxi services, and screaming at each other. It looks like nobody knows where he’s supposed to go or what he’s supposed to do, like they’re all standing around waiting for something to happen…
I ignore all the madness and hop onto my bus. It usually arrives within 30 minutes of the scheduled time.
Again, same people, doing the same thing… Complaining about the government, the system, the work environment, and so on. Sometimes I try to be on my own, but it’s so hard to resist being involved in these arguments, as your job stability can depend on it.
When I’m lucky to be left alone, I look around as an observer…
And I see empty eyes… It reads: “what should I do with my life?”.
No wonder… If we stop for a week, we may be unable to get employed without strong ties with a government official… Or someone who knows someone there. Luckily the commute is quite short, so I can shrug it off and get to work.
And my job… Yes, it’s close to my home, but it’s exhausting! Physically exhausting. It doesn’t pay very well, but it’s enough to feed my family – not sure if I could get a better deal elsewhere anyway. Although I have paid leave, I usually don’t take it. I haven’t been on vacation for years and usually working in shifts 6 days per week. These are not the ideal conditions, but given the situation in my country, I’m really grateful to at least have a job.
To be more precise, I’m really grateful to finally have a job! I started working at 32, as I couldn’t find anything before… And I was searching – I had to work a full year for free in order to get my current position. But the worst part is: it’s unstable… It’s a contract that’s being renewed each month. Getting seriously sick can mean losing our only source of income.
I’m headed home at around 4PM and although I’d enjoy walking, most of the time I avoid it. All the shadiness, chaos, and mess around makes me just want to reach my house and relax. Also, it’s a bit risky to go through the city center with the daily wage. Not extremely risky, but I rarely take the chance since our second child was born.
I wish I could take a walk on my own sometimes…
And the environment is not helping. Most of the people don’t work, so they have plenty of time to observe and talk about other peoples’ lives and business. They’re too interested, gossip and ask too many questions.
And you can’t just wave them off – you don’t want to make enemies when all of us depend on each other in a way. Daily trade and services aside, offending the wrong person, or a relative of, may leave you without your only source of income or without any security whatsoever.
But I can’t think about the worst case scenarios again. But damn… If I could only wake up in a place where hard work is rewarded and everyone minds their own business… With another day behind me, I just want to drift away in my dreams of a better life.
But before I do, I spend the evening with friends or family. That’s the only thing keeping me sane in this chaos we call life.
Conclusion
Most of the life is suffering, at least as long as we’re enslaved, whether it’s physical or in our own minds.
Don’t try to “look at the bright side”, because at many times there won’t be any. Then, the best we can do is get the fulfillment to the asymptotic 0, so we’re not overly negative about everything around us. Maybe both the stories would have been different if the people lived under other conditions (having a sincere passion for something, being FIREd, working something they have interest in, etc.), but that’d be an exception and not the rule.
If I have to derive a point from this text, it would be: be enough for yourself.
Both the loud and the silent public transport don’t matter. Both the long and the short working hours don’t matter. Both the wealth and poverty don’t matter! They only wished they had what the other guy has – and it’s a vicious cycle that rots the minds of all zombies unconsciously inhabiting this planet.
One of my favorite quotes is “find a mode of being that’s so meaningful that the fact that life is suffering is no longer relevant“1. Word.
And when you’re close to a breakdown and turn to self-help or self-improvement, they’ll teach you to be grateful. Please do, but don’t “appreciate what you have” to the point where you accept living a miserable life just to die regretting the whole journey.
If you don’t love every day, do everything in your power to change the course. Because how you live each day is how you live your life!
Here’s a summary of a rules that can make a life beautiful:
- Do only the things you really want to do
- If you don’t, make sure that the end will justify the means
Best of luck!
Afterthoughts
And a thought experiment… Do you think these guys, or anyone you know, would have the same experience if money weren’t an issue?
Living an abundant life is the one and only way to reach self-actualization. Having to slave for money will make it almost impossible to surpass the safety or esteem needs.
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