Nostalgia. Catches all of us from time to time and makes us remember vividly how great the things once were.
It even makes many people romanticize their past – “Everything was easy and beautiful back then and there, but it’s all tough and ugly here and now. Every single thing!”
Okay, although I’d recommend to these people to chill out for a difference, I’d also say that I don’t disagree completely. But I do disagree. Just not completely.
The issue where we’re on the same page is the one that brings us those memories of freedom, lack of obligations, and having all the time for ourselves. But that’s about it, isn’t it? Once you learn what hindsight bias means, you simply can’t feel the regrets of what could have our should have been.
Hindsight Bias
Hindsight bias refers to the common tendency for people to perceive events that have already occurred as having been more predictable than they actually were before the events took place. As a result, people often believe, after an event has occurred, that they would have predicted, or perhaps even would have known with a high degree of certainty, what the outcome of the event would have been, before the event occurred.1
So no, I didn’t know and what I could have done if I did know is irrelevant. As mentioned in my take on happiness: every exclusive decision is wrong because you miss out on the ones you didn’t pick. At the same time, the one you pick is all there is, so the others don’t even exist. Point being that there is no point in regretting anything.
You’re welcome.
Let me leave you with a quote you can tweet:
Don’t focus what you could have done in the past to improve your present, but what you can do in the present to improve your future.
In other words: focus on making more money… Right?
When I was a child
Okay, I guess it’s noticeable that I have a dislike of being fooled by fallacies, biases, or misuse of statistics. So yes, it was really nice not to care about bills and taxes, but let’s not cherry-pick the best of the examples.
What about the fact that we were forced into the cookie cutter machine without even being aware of our options?
What about being taught by white trash low-lives in school with the risk to take them into consideration and end up in a similar position?
What about not being able to afford the lifestyle we craved for?
What about being looked down upon, being critiqued, restricted, and yelled at just because we were younger?
Although the memories of “freedom” can be nice, they’re quite misleading. Being a young kid is far from being free! You just have more time because you have less obligations and thus more energy.
Actually, here is a far-from-complete list of things I wouldn’t enjoy if I were a kid today:
- Being tested all the time;
- Having restrictions on each step;
- Studying for an exam in a field I have zero interest in;
- Money being the major factor in every decision;
- Being judged;
- Being forced into silence and rarely taken seriously;
- Not being able to walk away when something sucks;
- Being too vulnerable;
- My time being undervalued;
- Being brainwashed while most naive;
And I can go on and on!
By the way, my childhood didn’t suck. I was loved and protected by my family who gave me the conditions and attention needed to grow. I also remember it as a great period of my life. But the freedom I feel now, although still slaving for money, is incomparable, especially after I piled up savings that could last for years.
The only thing I miss is having more time for myself. But not at the cost of being mistreated, judged, and forced into doing boring activities with almost no control over my life.
Actually, even when I was a child, I had some dreams about my future.
My childhood dreams
“The good life” was a recurring topic in my life. Actually, I’m still on a continuous quest to make it better. Even as a kid, I was spending time fantasizing about my future and envisioning the way I’d grow. Around 20 years later, from the wishes to the nice-to-haves, there is rarely a thing I didn’t achieve in my adulthood.
For example, I often dreamed about being strong. Sometimes it was inspired because of how vulnerable I was, sometimes because of seeing examples of advanced athleticism. As with most things newbies have interest in, I lacked knowledge and structure. So, my bursts of attempts for increasing my strength or trying various activities didn’t do much on the long-term. When I got older I learned how to do research and understood the importance of structure. I defined which aspects of fitness are important to me and ended up enjoying the progress to this day. Seeing myself doing 10 sets of 10 strict pull-ups or holding a Straddle Planche… The young me would be proud of the person he became. 🙂
Another wish that often came up was me being able to afford things. From browsing the shelves of various toy-stores (consumerism risk), to not being able to afford another BigMac at McDonald’s (health risk), I was no stranger to the feeling of lack of money. Fast forward a couple of decades, I had my share of buying random objects from toy-stores and I had my share of enjoying an abundance of food. Anyway, as I aged and started earning, my consumer appetites slowly decreased while my healthy habits increased.
Maybe I didn’t use this wording back then, but what I was dreaming about was not being affected by the CPI (consumer price index, check the Glossary if you need an introduction to common finance / investing / FIRE terminology). Traveling the world is another example of indulgences I couldn’t afford as a youngster. Today, I rarely remember a month that I’ve spent completely in a single country. Just to be clear: I don’t consider it a “success”, but I sure did in my youth.
I can’t forget the amount of craving I had for being left alone for a while. Sometimes things just piled up out of control. In times like these, if I knew that I could have a full week for myself, without being distracted by people I dislike, random phone-calls, dilemmas awaiting decisions, people needing unconditional assistance, etc., I’d be a happy man kid. Of course, this also had a lot to do with how I’m holding myself and how much I make myself available to other people, so it’s not an inherent characteristic of being an adult, but for sure it’s an improvement of my quality of life over the years. I really can’t remember when was the last time I participated in an activity I found boring. That’s an epic win in my books.
It has also been a while since the last time I was tested. Having an ego in check is a big factor here, but not being forced into situations where you’re judged is even bigger. So yeah, no imposed responsibilities, no deadlines affecting my well-being, and no undervaluing of my time because of my age. Simply beautiful! Of course, as employees, we have performance reviews where we’re graded as little kids, but having six figures smiling from my accounts reminds me of what I’m investing in and where I’m headed.
Oh, and while we’re at it – having money – boy, I wanted that as well! I may have not been able to word it properly as I am now, but the quality of life differences were obvious from the earliest of age. However, instead of thinking about it in terms of cash-flow, I confused having money with having a stable job. Well… What can I say apart from “be careful what you wish for”?
And one more thing that my young self would like to hear: I played video games a lot! Completing Witcher 3 (including Hearts of Stone and Blood and Wine), Skyrim, Shadow of the Tomb Raider, FarCry 3, FarCry 4, South Park Fractured But Whole, Orcs Must Die 2 and BioShock Infinite within a year while complementing the experience with a lot of League of Legends and Mortal Kombat would mean living the dream when I was young.2 I even got enough of it recently, so I didn’t play anything during 2019.
And I could go on and on! Being an adult is not that bad when you’re smart. At least smart enough not to drown in debt, miss every opportunity, or have kids with a completely incompatible partner.
What remains?
So yeah, I live most of my dreams, but I’m yet to achieve a few as well. The crave for freedom is one that often comes back. Actually, that’s what made me start a FIRE-centric blog instead of writing about any of my other interests. The need for money will always be around. It’s a permanent factor.
And what exactly do I mean by freedom, that I see it completely though the lens of being financially independent? Well, let me quote how I called it as a young, immature, and financially illiterate, but somewhat intelligent kid: “I just want my shelter, food, and bills paid for”. And I still agree, although I can describe the same effect as a function of one’s expenses using diversified portfolios and the 4% rule. I knew what I was talking about and I’m still pushing to get my basic needs covered. At least back then nobody mentioned it’s unrealistic or childish. Mention the concept of financial independence as an adult and trigger people jumping at you with comments such as “grow up” or “it’s impossible”.
It’s really interesting how many misconceptions we have when we’re unaware. Even while studying, I still thought that landing a stable job is all I’d need in order to feel fulfilled. And not only that I wasn’t, but it turned out to be one of the most unfulfilling experiences I’ve had in my life and nothing comes even close. Damn, I hate being a puppet.
Anyway, let’s focus on the positives… I remain consistent and am still pushing to get what’s right for me, so as long as I stay the course, I’ll get it done. I haven’t “grown up”. I haven’t settled and I’m yet to die inside! At a few instances I was close to it, but the reality reminded me to open my eyes a bit wider.
Once you became aware of the matrix, there is no going back.
There is no force that can stop me pursuing the state of freedom at this stage in life.
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