Frugality and Enjoying Life

Frugality and Enjoying Life

When presented with the idea of frugality, most consumers have an urgency to say sentences containing the phrase “enjoy life”.

These include various variations of “I want to enjoy life”, or my favorite, “you should enjoy life”.

Should I? Oh okay, acknowledged! Thanks.

The bottom line is: many people have no idea how to enjoy life without paying for it.

Enjoying life

Although I’m in no position to state with 100% certainty what enjoying life means (as anyone else), I have a claim that I’m pretty confident about.

The most memorable experiences I’ve had in my life have really low correlation with the amount of money spent on or around them.

How low? If I was slightly more lousy with the words I pick I’d have said “nothing to do with”. However, I’m accounting for the fact that I needed money to survive, eat, dress, go out, etc. function in the society in order to have those experiences. But take these conditions for granted and it’ll turn out that direct outflow of cash has not much to do with the experience we’ll have.

I understand that this may be surreal for many… But the opposite is jaw dropping for me! How on earth does the cost of an item directly affect your experience with it? If anything, they should be inversely proportional, right?

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A random line.

I put it there because I stopped for a second. I stopped and thought: “Wait, am I ignorantly assuming that people are that stupid?”.

On the other hand, I witnessed how people mindlessly spend and engage in behaviors for which “wasteful” would be an underestimate, but having to describe it in writing is messing with my mind. If I had to explain these habits to someone who had no previous exposure to consumerism, I’d have absolutely no idea how to capture it in a coherent manner.

I was on the edge to delete what I wrote and call it a day… Apparently, I didn’t do it.

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Let me get to the root cause… If you need to dump a fortune in order to enjoy life, you’re most probably overworked or already burned out – and you should focus on treating those issues, rather than looking for quick fixes and short-term hacks.

Take it from a software engineer with years of experience in designing and implementing complex systems – I know about both taking a vacation when burn-out is nearing and the long-term consequences of dirty little quick fixes.

Why these people are ignorant?

They’re assuming two things that they shouldn’t:

• That everyone shares their idea of fun.
• That they know what they want in life.

Let’s explore them.

What brings me joy?

Before answering what brings me joy, let me list a few things that don’t.

• Drinking a cocktail which costs 20 EUR
• Owning a car which has an ongoing expense of three digits associated with it
• Having a great time in places where I need to pay to enter
• Having an insightful discussion on a topic that I’m passionate about while paying for bad service and expensive drinks
• Paying bills
• Paying taxes
• Spending money

And this is not the first time I’m dissecting expenses vs experiences. In the post I Hate Spending Money I described the balance between cost and reward. Quoting it will explain:

Paying more doesn’t always buy a better experience. If I overpay, most probably I wouldn’t find pleasure even in things I would’ve enjoyed doing otherwise. On the other hand, if I’m seriously committed to underpaying, than I may lose the opportunity to “enjoy life more“.

Let me give an example: paying 7000€ for a 10 day all-inclusive exotic vacation in a 5 star resort would make me feel miserable, while paying 1000€ would make me delighted! Willing to pay only 200€ would make me not find any deals.

Paying 25€ per month to train in a gym would make me unmotivated, while maintaining my physical condition at home makes me excited! Expecting to be paid to train would make me weak and out of shape.

So the question still remains: then what brings me joy?

I have a bunch of things to give as an answer, but I’ll stick to those related to the context of this post. Actually, I’ll summarize the subset with the following sentence:

Seeing my net-worth grow.

Yup.

There are no trips, outings, or after-work drinks that can compete with the pleasure I experience when filling in my monthly numbers.

But as I said, it’s just a subset. If I generalize it a bit more, the answer would be: improving my life.

And because I’m not loose with the words I pick, I’ll just add that I try to quantify the joy and include it in the calculation. If the difference in joy is big enough and the cost is a two digit number, I consider it noise and pay.

So, am I sacrificing something?

Owning a helicopter won’t make my life better. It will have a short-term gratification and humor associated with it, but I’ll be left with a liability after the fun and games. So it can only affect my life adversely on the long run.

But let’s talk about you now.

What brings you joy?

Things you can barely afford?

Things you can’t afford?

Okay, let’s see when you can finally start to “enjoy life“. I don’t know you and your preferences, so we’ll go step by step.

Imagine what will happen when you’ll be able to afford a Rolex for the first time. Really try to envision it.

What’s next?

Five sport cars?

Okay, let’s say you got them. And then?

A house? A mansion? A couple of villas around multiple continents?

But what happens if you really get all that? What’s next?

Your own military and government? A country? And then?

You see where this is going? Growing requirements are unsustainable and unrealistic.

If you keep requiring more, you’ll eventually lose. If you learn how to live with what you have, you’ll eventually win.

And don’t get me wrong, treat yourself with anything you can afford and work for the things you want to acquire.

Just know what you want.

Know what you want regardless of price.

If you want a Lamborghini but still can’t afford it, work to get one. Spend less than you earn, invest the difference to speed up the process, and don’t waste money on distractions (Ferraris, Porsches, Benzes, … shoes and Rollies). Lambo is where it’s at for you.

But you might not want that particular car…

You might want peoples’ envy and/or respect.

You might want the world to bow down and worship your name, metaphorically speaking.

And if your demands grow out of control, you’ll start using lies, force, and fear to subdue people. Man up and accept yourself. If you want to conquer the world, don’t use your mediocre job as a leverage to drown in debt. Learn from the people who got close, take responsibility, and go for it. At least you’ll fail in a dignified manner, not like the sleazy mouse you’ve become.

Remember, there will always be a neighbor you can’t impress.

Back to finance – what do I spend on? Why do I save?

The fact that time is convertible to money and vice versa shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone.

When I’m paying for something, I’m doing that to save time and for convenience.

So, if I pay a real estate agent, it will be to save me the time and stress I’d invest if I did it myself. If I pay for a phone, it will be to connect with people and take pictures. If I pay for a pair of shoes, it will be for convenience and to save me the time to create them myself. Not because they’re from a certain brand.

I also don’t spend money on things that will cost me more time or limit me in any way – a fancy suit will limit my mobility, waste me hours in ironing it, and open the obligation to be careful with it on parties, just to name a few.

You see the pattern? I’m buying stuff that will improve my life and well-being. I am actually enjoying life, and again, the joy doesn’t scale proportionally with the amount spent.

And if there is a question left to pop into your head at this point, it would be: if you don’t spend, why even bother earning so much?

Because I’ll most probably be alive in 10 years, dummy.

But what will I buy with all that money, right?

… Freedom.

I see more value in waking up rested day after day and taking it slowly than deluding myself that I’m impressing people with items while actually feeding on their jealousy.

Let me get you in on a secret: If spending money brings you joy, you should also focus on having more rather than less money.

Make no mistake, and the earlier you don’t the better, having a large stash of FU money or a stable income producing asset will improve your life tremendously.

Not today and not just once.

Permanently and continuously.

That’s how you enjoy life.